I once was happy, but then the silence was loud
Squeezing my teddy In my hands, the last one you gave me
I sat in many rooms that seemed further and further away from you
Lonely, unwanted, and feeling like a burden
Calling on the phone from the security guard’s room, all I heard was tomorrow
But tomorrow came and there were empty rooms and no you
I once was happy, but then the silence was broken
Angry faces all around me ..I don’t know why
It wasn’t my fault.. but I don’t know why
My skin hurts, the belt was missing, so she settles for a cord
My apologies are taken as lies so the hits come harder
It wasn’t my fault..now I know why
I once was happy because I was finally with you
Until I saw the amount of hurt that you felt
There was nowhere else to place it, so you repeated what stepmom did
The lockdowns, numerous
The gaslighting, enormous
The doubt in my heart of what I needed to be growing
The beatings ..oh the beatings
You were my shining star to look forward to when all I could do was cry many tears of confusion
But having you in small doses didn’t tell me you another monster to escape
Yes, you had your heartache and lovers that beat you down
But you imposed on me the same values of why they hit you too
I admire your strength, your beauty, and your passion, but outside of that, you are also old-fashioned
I once was happy, and it comes and goes
The anxiety and depression keep me on my tip toes
For now, you see, I know who to be, and that makes me so free
I am my shining star and guided by my own heart
Struggle is constant, but I remind myself “you’re good enough”
So your voice does not take over as it once did
To make me a puppet, so I can live your dreams
I once was happy, and you were my world
I have stepped into a new chapter
You no longer fit into this narrative
